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99K views · 2.2K reactions | “Hey Steve, don’t feel bad, don’t feel like you’re getting old... because I’m older than you are. Two months older than you are. So happy birthday.” (: Steve Allen’s 75th Birthday Celebration, 1996) | Rodney Dangerfield | Facebook
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“No respect at all, are you kidding? I was arrested for jaywalking. The crowd kept yelling, ‘Don't take him alive!’” | Rodney Dangerfield
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318K views · 9.9K reactions | “Last week I found a guy’s wallet. Inside was a picture of my two kids.” : Opening Night at Rodney’s Place, 1989 | Rodney Dangerfield | Facebook
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351K views · 4.5K shares | “Everytime I set the alarm, my wife turns it off. She says what I earn, it don’t pay to get up.” | Rodney Dangerfield | Facebook
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“Last week, I told my wife, ‘I need a home improvement loan.’ She gave me a thousand dollars to move out.” | Rodney Dangerfield
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